Why search for meaning?

We live in meaning

Surrounding us but not beyond

Calcified Krystle’s bathtub rings

Autocorrected my crystals

to a possessive feminine

Authority entitled to everything

Whatever it meant to me

The truth of what I see

Shares held space with

The truth of what you see

Locality and layering

Coats of paint are not a building

The foundation equality of being

Residue of everything true

The purpose of man is two:

Make more of you.

What is left of life

What did you do

It is like something

To be the crust

The husk of trust

The skin of the pudding

Herniated disks exploding

The relativistic speed of us

At the edge about to pop

Stretched to infinity

And the second thing

Is stick together

if life matters

as always or never


Ignominious Rex

Emotional wrecks heap up on either side of the great divide of pride and point fingers at the other side. You lied no you lied no…

One finger shames, three point back to you. What you think it is is not what it is it’s what you say it is is not what it is, it is what it is and since it’s not a name, you’re not wrong all the way, since what you say is real… speaking of speaking, so to speak.

Why don’t we play a new game? Every one of us knows it by heart, you make the rules that apply to you, and tell the truth. But what if, you read lips and after taxes…

The fix is to do what you say, and say what you mean, because one thing leads to another, and the word becomes flesh and flesh becomes light, and steps on the stones.

Try to put civilization on skids, lay a new foundation and pray it fits, well, it sits but it’s the details we miss and we kiss our dumb asses goodbye when the big one hits.

We’re safe for a bit, but we’ve got to keep moving or call it quits, cash in your chips where the house always wins, be not afraid to step out of the valley of sins and repent, lather, rinse and repeat.

Do it for the kids. Oh speaking of which, Miss Givings and Ms. Carrage, have you been bullied and badgered and hounded, nagged and bagged on by a crowd of cowards, empowered by a pyramid scheme that stole all your spare hours, seized in a fever dream of eminent domain wolf blitz in sheep dip new media smoke screen?

No? Well it’s time for some answers, after these messages from our handlers: you cast the first stone, you rile the panthers, you dig in your heels, next come the panzers.

The End of the World

The veiled one replied,

And who wouldn’t be proud of me?

An atmosphere of polka dots of

Light bent on gravitational waves

Within a vast ineffable folded space

Some degrees north of an asteroid

Belt held her nebulae in place

Beneath a sulfuric acid sky.

There is no weave, no hue devised

What can hide divine form from the mind.

Even the deepest blackest masses

Yield their truth with backstage passes 

All in their own due time.

It’s just a little ways

I said to make the 6:58.

Stopped once along the way by

Stutter steps and heavy breath 

With diesel passing on the left.

Three chums into the boxy whale 

Before I scarce could catch its tail

And mouth agape it kindly waits

To catch me in the baleen seats

Along its windowed flanks

Only to spit me out about 

Twenty-some odd times a week.

Been awake awhile now

While most are still asleep. 

I could regret about everything

But I haven’t got the time.

I’m not the strongest link

The weakest or the richest soil

To grow a crop of human

If you hold on to your pride,

My name is gratitude,

I will remember you.

Lesser Evils: Inflammatory Essays


I don’t believe in one true religion. But I’m not strictly an atheist. I don’t believe in democracy, socialism, or any political ideology, but I’m not a rebel. I believe all ideas, like all flavors of ice cream, have a certain purpose and a right to exist. I don’t eat all of them, but I don’t interfere when someone eats a flavor I hate.

if ice cream were my religion, it would be a sin to accept a sugar cone when the waffle variety is available. People want to believe because believing is making sense out of an unknown dilemma, answering an urgent question when not knowing is intolerable. I’m not anything which ends in -ist. I have developed an intense allergy to hierarchies. All the sensory data I’ve experienced thus far inform my position on the following controversial political subjects.

Illegal Migration

In the centuries since the murder-fueled imperialism which founded the United States of America, everyone has immigrated here illegally. I remember singing a Woody Guthrie tune in kindergarten. We agreed in our little warbly voices that this land was made for you and me. It’s more like:

This land was paid for by power.

The root of this position can be traced to the common ancestors of crustaceans and the territorial behavior in effectively all other endothermic amniotes on this planet, for the express and singular purpose of protecting access to limited resources, e.g. breeding opportunities, food and shelter, etc.

If humans wish to distance themselves from the rest of the animal kingdom, specifically, above the animal kingdom, then they must transcend such behaviors, using the highest brain capacity in the animal kingdom to protect the limited resources for the benefit of the entire planet.

The distribution of resources in favor of environmental stability opposes waste. Fighting over resources in a limited area is a waste. Instead, expand the area: relocate individuals or import resources to compensate for increased population densities. In this age of the most extensive and efficient resource distribution infrastructure humanity has ever known, competition at any level is a waste of resources, unless extreme circumstances arise.

Think of a cannabis plant with a mineral deficiency, sacrificing the older, less productive leaves to reallocate essential resources higher up the plant to ensure continued cellular reproduction, survival. Individuals are not isolated consumers of resources, we are cells in a super-organism called humanity, integral to the entire biome as much as bacteria are integral to our microbiome. From ecosystem to solar system, to a wholly unknown universal system, right where we belong. Just where are we, exactly? And how?

From a sympathetic point of view, if the native tribes of the Americas had superior military force and technology (including immune systems), if they retained control of the land they shared with each other, this might be a wholly different country where Indo-Europeans are kept on reservations, what few survived the genocide would perhaps reside inside the United Caliphates of Arabia.

The Fault In Our Wars

Brave New World, 1984,

After reading any of these books, it becomes clear that the military industrial complex is a force of the modern world so pervasive and insidious as to be effectively ignored by the population at large, save for those engaged in profiteering or violence.

There’s been war for a long, long time. It’s good versus evil. Which is which is variable. Iran is evil because they held Americans hostage. Iraq is evil because they invaded Kuwait. Germany is evil because they enslaved, brutalized and murdered 25 million people. Russia is evil because the Soviets murdered a hundred million people. America is evil because they invaded multiple countries, actually used nuclear bombs on cities filled with innocent people. There’s still a nuclear arms race and threats of their use abound, . So everyone’s evil. Israel and Palestine, Somalia, Korea, Laos, Vietnam, the Islamic State, the fucking Crusades… anywhere and anytime killing of humans is carried out, be it in the name of politics, the economy, ethnicity, religion, culture, gender, literally any reason at all—including execution of incarcerated individuals convicted of capital offenses—there is a fault of logic so puerile and sophomoric that it would be hilarious if it wasn’t so completely repugnant and horrific in every conceivable way:

  1. Killing is wrong, i.e. morally indefensible.

A premise we can all pretty much get behind. Perhaps extreme pain or self defense might invalidate it. Let’s leave suicide aside for the moment and stick with killing others.

  1. Individuals in Human Group 1 (HG1) have killed/are killing/threatening to kill individuals in HG2.

Sounds like an awful situation. What do do about it? Defend yourselves, HG2!

  1. HG2+ may violate the first premise with impunity, only as it applies to HG1+.

Do we all have a right to self-defense? Do baby humans have a right to self-defense? Or even an interest in self defense? Perhaps a drive for self preservation, which is inferred by their continued self advocacy, mainly through crying. They can’t get a lawyer or pick up a gun, or run away, so they have a right they cannot enact, or be made aware of, or consent to forfeit. Is it still a right? If so, an argument can be made to support the statement Abortion is Murder. It’s the usurpation of the right to life.

HG2+ ( a set including HG2 and their agents/allies ) is excepted from the first premise without invalidating it if they become non-human, or an exception is added for self defense.

  1. Killing is sometimes preferable to not killing.

Sometimes? That’s not a clear moral rule with is applied equally and universally. It might be true then that it is was preferable for HG1 to kill HG2 in the first place, and the true crime was in the retaliation of HG2 on HG1. Not clear. Not moral. Not universal. It’s… complicated?

In war, law enforcement, interpersonal relationships, etc. those related by some chance characteristic to the perceived threat, e.g. politics, ethnicity, location, appearance, are also targeted. Violence justified dehumanizes the perpetrator first, then the victim. Vendettas have left entire towns sterile. There was a time when the POTUS declared with pride the death of another man, to a round of cheers and applause. Macabre, this penny dreadful play of politics.


AKA: killing babies. There is no justification for murder. Despite what you might cite as a feminist, why does a woman have a right to kill a baby just because it’s in her body at the moment, whereas someone killing that baby against her will would be guilty of a crime? Say nothing of wrong and right, but within the law and outside it. A woman’s will is law, then so must be a man’s will. Because the man’s body birthed the sperm which made the baby inside the woman, has he forfeited his right to kill the baby because it’s outside his jurisdiction? Does her will to reproduce trump his will to reproduce? If a man impregnates a woman against her will, she reserves the right to kill the baby. Now, if a woman impregnates herself against a man’s will, does he reserve the right to kill the baby? Equality is literally a two-edged sword…

Still, you can do whatever you want. There’s no one to judge you in an afterlife. Once you’re dead, you’re dead. And everything will die. It’s just a matter of when, how and why. However people die: on your sword, on your operating table, on your watch; they die. What remains is why. Who knows, all we can do is make something from the hand we’ve been dealt in life. Make the best of what is and not the worst of what was. It’s better to make life than death, as death arises without our help, and we are life which creates itself.

Equal Rights

“I believe in traditional marriage.” Traditional in the sense that women are property of their fathers, paid for in a dowery and kept by a man in multiples as breeding livestock. That’s traditional marriage. The husband does not belong to the wife as the wife belongs to the husband in the traditional view.

The Patriarchy

The Patriarchy doesn’t really exist. Dominance hierarchies exist. Power exists. People exist. People who want to be higher up on the dominance hierarchy or amass power at the unwilling expense of others. I am a person, just like whomever is reading this, excluding the search bots. But I don’t want for dominance or power or anything at the unwilling expense of others.

There are males who oppress and dominate females, sure. But they are equal opportunity dominators, extending their dominance over all other men, or anything in competition with them. Maybe it’s the forces of nature, a mountain, a fear or a personal record. Even plants and animals are not exempt from domination. Just look at the food industry, forests, mining, space.

To think that the patriarchy—a primate dominance hierarchy like any other—only oppresses women, or even disproportionately oppresses women, is myopic and dismissive of all men who have fought against other men to increase or maintain status in the ongoing species-wide struggle for dominance.

Men primarily dominate other men, their competition. It’s just that we don’t call it the patriarchy. To a man it’s just life. It is upon placing themselves in direct competition with men for resources and status, that women realize what men have known forever: what it’s like to compete with men. It’s not easy, it’s not fair, and it’s not often pretty. People get hurt. A lot. And no man gets to call out discrimination or roughness or sexism. If he complains of oppression, he’s told to shut up, be a man, walk it off, quit whining and toughen up. A complaint actually makes you lose status. It’s an admission of inferiority. There are rarely any handicaps or fouls in male competition; the penalty is losing. Status, resources, body parts, your life. Men don’t get to complain about the rules of the game, so neither do women. Either you want equality and fairness, or advantage and special treatment.

In a man’s world, don’t expect any fucking sympathy, assistance or favors. Don’t expect anyone to make it easier for you to succeed, unless they directly benefit. Even then you’d be lucky, if you’re not merely being primed for later use.

Identity Politics

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose,
by any other name would smell as sweet.”

— Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Slut. Whore. Pimp. Rapist. Facist. Father. Pedophile. Racist. Mother. Evil. Murderer. Nazi.

What do these words mean to you? Have their meanings changed over time? Do you identify with any of them? How will these words shape your life, your actions? Is their meaning the same for you as it is for other people? What is a word?

Words are tools. We use them all the time, speaking, writing, thinking… yet they are somehow not real. You can’t drive a nail with the word hammer, but you can drive a nail with an actual hammer, even if you say you’re detailing your Hyundai. Words are labels, abstract metaphysical containers that can be filled with infinite contradictory meanings, concurrently. Words are not the truth. Words get at the truth, approximate the truth, but never fully encapsulate the truth.

If you take a sharpie and write Yummy Baby Food on a box of rat poison, that doesn’t initiate an alchemical process whereby the contents are converted into smooth sweet potato goo. The label Rat Poison insists on its lethal application to small mammals, but is it moral to administer it to such creatures, or any creatures at all? Even the chemically accurate label Zinc Phosphide is existentially incomplete, lacking in normative or instructive content.

The Future is Female?

It’s pretty ballsy to declare that 3.5 billion people have no future on the planet, and to single out that group because of their gender. Even if 100% of males historically oppressed 100% of females for all of history, switching the names of the oppressor and the oppressed does not end the oppression. 5×3=15. 3×5=15. A literary example from the oft-quoted and misunderstood 1984, the stated name of the enemy changes from one country to another (sometimes in the middle of a denunciation of their evilness) but the war continues unabated.

Osama Bin Laden and many others were trained and paid by the US to fight the soviets. Then they were listed as evildoers, enemies of freedom, and marked for death. Welcome to 1984.

The law only works to suppress those who are not powerful enough to overcome it in the pursuit of their personal desires. Even those not powerful enough to overcome or circumvent the law can be so strongly motivated that they pursue their desires despite full knowledge that it will lead to their destruction in the machinery of the State. Homicide laws don’t deter the POTUS from sending robots to murder whole families in Libya. Tax laws don’t deter corporations from evading trillions in tax liability, they mostly penalize individuals. The answer is not to attain this multinational level power as an individual, in order to pursue personal desires, necessarily at the expense of others. The answer is not to punish those who pursue personal desires, or who hurt others in their pursuits. The answer is to expose, elucidate and embrace the interconnectedness of everyone and everything. There is place for you here.

At the base of tyranny is control of language. It’s in us versus them. Democrat or Republican. Man or Woman. African or Caucasian. Adult or Child. Criminal or Lawful. Rich or Poor. Muslim or Christian. Good or Evil. It’s more accurate to say we’re all human. More accurate still, we are all animals. Even more, we are all dust encircling the sun. Most accurately, we are all matter, the ~5% of the universe that we know literally anything about.

Text Missive

She’s all about seeding emotion
Positive or negative equality
It is what it is, but neither is
For better or worse, forget
The curse and the blessing
They are the same thing
A salad has dressing
A divorce is as messy
As marriage is heavy
A lie tells the truth
If you take a good look
Past the paint job
under the hood
You know what runs this shit
Power when we come together
Power when we fuck and split
Atoms make all the eves
And she up and cleaves
Sunlight reaves and leaves
Make use of the abuse
Grow out from the center
Chrysanthemum metaphor
All the rest of us are
Left to our own devices
Lamb’s ears and tricycles
Love is the priceless
The naughty and nice list
The profits and losses
Effects and causes
The limited and infinite
It’ll never happen, ’til it did
Now what do you say to that
What if we did what I thought
What if we never get caught
In the just as soon as forgot
Two trees entwined forever
In case of emergency
Pull on the red lever
Out of the wreckage
Fashion a weapon
Study your lessons
Come up to meet me
And I will still seek thee
Glances obliquely advances
Discretely in chemistry
Parts of you are inside me
Not quite a cocktail
More of a mixed drink
A little splash of each
Just a toe in at the beach
But if you could see what I see
Flip the switch and watch me
Lightning forking and fingering
Our suffering and singing
Grounded and still spinning
Around the same thing
The Empire of Resistance
At least we’re consistent
Considering history.

A list is for the listless
Motivation is endless
For the passionate people
Imperative impetus to
Deleterious detritus of
Conservative excess in a
Toyota or Lexus
Either sufficient to exit
When difference perplexes
In the context of sex it’s
A bomb in the solar plexus
To even contest this
Physical nexus what’s next is
Spirit and science reflect us
The mirror a mentalist
Trick of consensus
Consent to repent
And drop all defenses
The war is relentless
Pointless to end this
Mysterious madness
The victors are vanquished
When our values are vanished
Like smoke from the cannabis
Inhale the fabulous
Fashion a clerical countenance
For the new era of selling ish
Dump all the baggages
Sever the purse strings
Of the old puppet masters
Who keep selling us cancers
We dance in a confluence
Of coming attractions
Questions and answers
Divisions and factions
Margins and fractions
Our thoughts breed actions
Compound contractions
Syllables sizzle in sessions
Of clay tablet impressions
Make truth the confession
And one love the religion.

Swimming in the deep end
of the belly of the whale,
I miss our sheep.
We apes can be
of mutual assistance
independent of scale
without slapping a label on it
We’re entangled quanta in orbit
Infrared shifted gravitational companions
in countenance of cosmological significance
Colloid of constant chemical collisions
Nebulous supernova pales in reverence
Dramaturgic archetypal
mixtape of elegance
Handed down as the
perpetual sentence

Uphold the binary monopoly
on the landscape of sexuality
take this, warrior princess
The holy catalyst of a blood tryst
your hero journey begins
with an unexpected kiss.

A dream of fog
this endless journey
to the center of ourselves.
Rain collects in mountain moss
Soaks through rock and tree
And you and me the waterfalls
The excess joys of cloud cover
Rapunzel in gray towers
Separate showers
Coupled powers
Climb up the heat waves
esurient slaves made
Masterpieces slick and staid
As highway winds through
Primeval words worth worlds.
Serial parallel undertow spell
The river runs through us
Still standing in presence
Current of future and past
A heaven of hello what’s this
And I don’t even know you.

I crossed my legs on a platform of concrete,
72 feet above a mountain peak at the height of an acidulous trip.
And a burning sadness lay on my shoulders.
It had been there perhaps forever, but I suddenly became aware
and it told me its name. Each familiar fold,
every burr and ingrown fiber, push-pulled at my raw skin.

Terrence McKenna once described a thought
nearly identical to mine.
It shocked me into a sense of urgency,
so similar was the mental landscape of his story,
but for the tree under which he was stricken with epiphany.

In all the hours I’ve spent on the couches
of psychotherapists and counselors,
with barstool confessionals
and priestesses in bedsheet vestments,
vesicles of revelations and content
plentiful and powerful and nascent.

Then it became so clear to me, how much pain everyone feels.
How we are all haggard and hackles for all we’ve been though.
Our parents, our siblings, our former lovers, dogs and cats.
Their faces and bodies twisted in pain, eyes wet, mouths agape,
veins like roots exposed at the neck and forehead,
fixed in the marble of memory, crying out to me for mercy.

And I recall the orangutan in the mirror,
wide cheeks and confusion turning to laughter.
I’ve smashed my feet around the forest,
gazing up into the woven canopy,
eating the toadstools and berries.
Where we’re going and whence we’ve come
is the same impenetrable question.
The same invaluable lesson:
How pervasive is the web of lies,
when facing the truth is notable.

What do I think about earrings and makeup?
It’s made up bullshit, that’s what.

Ornamentation is unnecessary for us.
It is purposeless by definition.
Unless you define its purpose
as appearing more glamorous, Jennifer
garnering more attention
in competition with your fellow females
for high score in a hypergamy mating scheme.

It’s virtue signaling.
Wealth and status seeking.
It’s appearance over actuality.
Seeming over being.
It’s an artifact of culture.
Verisimilitude of ecclesiastic vanity.

The ends justify the means?
Is that the same for murder and sodomy?
If that’s what makes you happy,
See, plastic surgery is a tourniquet
When love is what you need
Fix the hole in the whole
Or be buried in compunction.
Are you a burn victim?
Restrained in movement?
Can’t breathe or function?

There is an imagined state
Of lacking in some or other way
That surgery of breast or face
Will never cure, to the contrary,
It reinforces the structure
Of cultural pressures
Of the fear of gene death
Of the external security
Of the terrible scrutiny
The inherent insufficiency
Of our primate legacy.

Sex is reproduction
A chemical junction,
Survival, a function
Of mammalian compulsion
For glandular food production
But Babies can’t feed
from a silicone teat
And the fertility you seek is
Destroyed by mere seeming

The symmetrical face to which
General health correlates,
The collagen injections
And bacterial toxins negate.
But that doesn’t even really
matter nowadays,
Look at our long life span,
Our tiny infant mortality rate;
The gap between
reproductive fitness
And sexual market
value optimization
Is about the size
Of the fucking
Grand Canyon.

I don’t have the popular
pleasing symmetrical features.
And the process doesn’t
benefit or effect me.
But the mind is a diamond
And so the flaws are glaring
inclusions and discolorations
Are part of the territory
But carve them out
and reduce the glory.

Almost no-body
is unfit to mate
Nearly every one of us has
the capacity to procreate.
Part of the standard package
We come equipped with
Like thinking and moving
And learning some new shit.

So don’t worry if
you’ve got small breasts
Your nose is crooked
or your eyes are offset
It’s not the paint job
that makes a corvette
Go vroom and no kind of body
is the real you.

It infringes on another’s freedom when you lie to them.
You give them the impression you are one way to grasp
their interest and time and activity,
but you are not who you claim to be.
You’ve falsely advertised the product as other than it is.
That’s usury, cheating and ugly.

It’s like this:
Armed robbery is obvious
A con, a grift is surreptitious
For a parallel example
Rape is plain to see but
Sexual manipulation is sneaky.

Rape induced pregnancies are often terminated
for reasons assorted, she told me
But rape isn’t a genetic tendency,
and abortion doesn’t undo it
or prevent it in the future.
It’s one selfish act after another.
I don’t believe in either.
But I understand both
Are people just trying to feel better.

The collective lack of empathy
is endemic to human society,
across cultures and categories.
It affects us all, and so the weight
is shouldered more or less equally.

And it’s interesting you mentioned what does
and does not deserve reckoning…
are you the arbiter of such things?
Are you intimating I’m placing blame
or passing judgement upon a human being?
I am in no such way inclined to be operating.
I do not castigate, but observe and opine.
Hell I don’t even blame someone for committing
a rape, even if it’s mine.

Understanding the suffering
Of everyone, equally.
That’s the change I will be.

Cultures selectively judge
some as good folks and bad hombres,
and happily put some of the weaker in cages,
slaughter and torment them with impunity
and reconstruct their ideology
to include such depravity.
It’s the moral dark ages.
We do what we have to do.
We always get what we need
to make it through.
But that’s not to say
it’s the best way, or ok.

Is this really the best we can do?

Must we act the fool?
The monkeys do as we do
Built upon dead logs
ancestral forest we rise
Stretch out from core to sky.
A planetary adversary
All human kind, kin, her and him,
this that it those and they
Every tree is different
What lives on and in them
Conduits for gasses pulling
Ever towards the local center
And so on and so on
We are earth flares
Crust mass ejections
Bubbling magma in
chemical interactions
So complex with
temperature gradients
and pressure fields
of green fur vagrants
Clouds of iron and
copper rain behavior
Divinity or bastards,
cops or robbers, grave digger
absentee landlord or the
golden arms of grandfather:

Los sabios saben que no son sabios.
Porque, pa’ aprender, primera que no saben.

The latest version
in terrestrial evolution
is the ape which knows
it does not know
and so, learns more
than it’s forgotten.